‘Amazing life’ is a regular thread about little things that make us happy. Today’s weird little thing is Being Forgetful
Sonia, my boss, mentor and very good friend once asked me ‘How come you always keep forgetting things? When ever I ask you, you seem to have forgotten it for one reason or the other.’
I did not have an answer but as usual – I had to say something ! The last word was mine, I said and I quote “I don’t forget by chance, I forget by choice” That fact that I had watched James bond in Casino Royale the evening before had nothing to do with it.
She looked at me with a rather peculiar look and said.’That’s the weirdest thing I have ever heard’
It wasn’t the first time she said that, it sure was not the last.
The question is why is this a good feeling? Something that happened today strengthened my belief in the idea of forgetting.
I called up an old friend just to say hi (Got a friend request from her on FB.) ! She picked up the phone and we spoke for almost an hour… I just did not realize somehow that she dumped me when I was 14 and it sure did hurt back then. Life moved on and I forgot, and it was really okay when I remembered it today. Forgetting just takes the edge of things. Maybe it is the the little bit of Emotional intelligence that we all need.
One secret to happiness is to be able to forget, forget what is not necessary or relevant to being constructive. Forget the regrets, grudges, opinions and mistakes if you can. Forget any superstition, rumor, allegation, frustration and worry and see, there will be so much more to remember.
A feminist friend of mine always says – ‘Women remember more! They are smarter’ …Sure they do ( I am not trying to be biased, if you take offence on this – get some humor hormones!), Its maybe because they remember more, they always have reasons to sound worried and men forget and see how happy they are:).
Of course it is easier said than done and it has massive disadvantages against people who remember… the conversation we had last year in summers about how bees fly and the conclusion of what makes the zzzzzzzzz sound. huh??? I don’t remember the conclusion, the conversation or even the weather – all i remember is that I met a buddy because that is what made me happy.
It is also a choice between being good and being happy. Memory is good, forgetfulness ( If that’s a word) is happier and that is just my personal opinion.
Look at it like a computer – What happens when too much of data is stored on the hard drive. Slows down the computer? and what happens when there are too many programs running together – Crash and burn?
All the information we collect, important and un-important is the data. Pick what you need and forget the rest ( Make notes if you like). The multiple processes are the emotions – the negative ones specially have a tendency of auto-start. They keep going on and on unless you forget about them.
So, how do you forget – Three things that I always do are :
- Get busy – Find something else that occupies you mentally and do it passionately enough to skip your lunch once because you did not realize the time.
- Get creative – Creating things from scratch is a great feeling and drives passion( Does not apply to creating babies) through the roof. It is this adrenalin that works as a pain killer.
- Get adventurous – Do something that you have never done before like Bunjee jumping. Personally,I feel it will be a great remedy for mid-life crisis.
These are just distractions, memory loses itself and people forget what is on top of their head.
Some things that feel really good once forgotten are;
- Forgetting why you fought with your spouse and end up bursting out into laughter
- Forgetting to watch a match where the team you like lost anyway
- Forgetting to lie where you had planned to and end up saying the right thing with benefits later
- Forgetting to say bye or express your love to the one you love only remember later how much you love them!
- Forgetting to eat when you are putting on weight
- Forgetting to do something nice in the first place only not to regret it later
Live well and go forget… Cheers. Abhi