Find your own story


Read this story slowly, preferably while you are alone.

‘A man was once walking alone down a road that looked never-ending. He was walking to forget about the pain his heart-break had caused. All that love looked relentlessly over-rated. He felt for his loss but was happy that it was not as bad as it could have been, in case this was to happen. 2 more years into the relationship.

He had forgotten the joy of life and everything else because of her – she meant everything to him. He could almost see her smile and tease him. ‘Why?’ He asked himself, ‘What did I not do for her?’ He exhaled, and still.

He was wandering directionless like a toddler and yet he was 40. He was feeling lonely like an orphan but he had friends who cared. He was behaving as if he was homeless, although he had a house to live in, he looked at strangers as if he wanted to beg death out of them while he was healthy, wealthy and well to do.

What happened? I asked.

And he looked at me as if he was the judge and I was guilty. Anger on his face was evident but in no time it turned into resentment, then regret and finally fear. I asked again, since he looked quite disturbed but it almost looked like his words were stuck in the lump on his throat.

He came through and murmured slowly, ‘ It was Lucy, she died – She was only 6 months old, a beautiful bitch.’ No pun intended and no disrespect meant but think about all the different emotions you experienced in snippets while you read this story. Specially the restlessness to conclude at the end.

That is the power of a story. While words reach your mind and music reaches your heart; Stories seem to have the ability to reach into the soul.

This is what led me to believe that maybe there is an answer to the eternal question, ‘What is your purpose in life?‘. A lot of great people, religions and even books have answered this very question over and over again. There are tonnes of different explanations, suggestions and perspectives hidden in them but there is one thing common – Every answer is about you being able to find your story.

Let’s take look at Gita – A religious hindu text which quotes :

“Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani”

Meaning: Do your duty and be detached from its outcome, do not be driven by the end product, enjoy the process of getting there. – 2:47 SRIMAD BHAGVAD GITA.

Who knows if it actually ever happened, but surprisingly every religion encourages its followers to find their own cause for existence. Some do it blatantly and others are subtle, it is suggestive and at times even prescriptive. Some call it baptism and some call it moksha. Different means to the same end – Finding a story to live in.

Even the non-believer believes it, because the fact that he disagrees with the idea of religion was born after a thought entered his mind and altered his belief. That thought could have been an incident, could have been an emotion, could have been a discussion or even a tragedy, whatever it was, it would have been a story to tell.

Stories are everything but fiction.  They are a reflection of life, feelings and even freedom.  They are learning and wisdom. They grow and they breathe. They have vision and emotions. There is not a single soul that doesn’t share one or hear one. Stories are life because life, is a story. And the funny bit is, stories are more human than humans will ever be. Coming back to the eternal question, ‘ What is your purpose in life? ‘ My answer is: ‘Finding my own story’ 

People do  it all the time but only a few realize it. When they attempt to change the way the look, the place they work or the thoughts they have, it just about becoming the right character. Different twists and turns and sometimes even the unexplained behavior is just the outcome of the way they see their story to be.

The only thing big enough  to summarize life, is a story because we are the stories we tell.  The only question is ‘How can you find your story?’ 

Here are some things I would do, they are yours to try, I am convinced to use it as a management concept and maybe to assist people in the long run too, I call it ‘Story-Boarding’

  • Choose your character:Who are you?
    • It’s not personality development, it’s about comfort. It is about being able to be in your skin with ease and away from the constant ruffle of trying to become like some one else.
    • Just like in a movie, the director can decide which elements would he want in a hero in what quantity, we too can choose what our character needs to be – You can be a creator, an enabler, a catalyst, a thinker, a dreamer and even a monk if you choose to (Don’t sell your Ferrari). It doesn’t even have to be all rosy and goody (We know that even Batman can be Jealous). The key word is real and the objective is to be comfortable.
  • Find your plot:What do you want to do?
    • Every great story has a great plot. It is important that you are inspired to do what you intend to. Inspiration is the only things that is not on sale. So, trying out different things until something appeals to you enough for you to spend your life with it, is a good idea.
    • Another was that may work out is looking back at your childhood and finding your happiest moment – see what were you doing at that precise instance and maybe that is a career option. You can even make a career in things that you don’t like to talk about much. Pun intended.
    • The only factor is, it should be something that drives you crazy enough to not give it up.
  • Set your climax:How will you reach fulfillment?
    • Draw a picture for how the climax of your story will look like. Pay attention to detail and explain the picture in words using crisp bullet points. See it everyday, twice, without fail. Once you achieve it, draw another one and move on. There is no time limit, age limit or any limit on possibility. It is just a story after all.
    • Arguably, your list of things to do can be endless and fulfillment hard to stay forever but thankfully life is not endless, and that is why the the journey is the story. The story is the purpose of life as all of what one can leave behind is a story to be shared and heard. Because there is not a single soul that doesn’t share one or hear one.

Even if these steps can’t freeze your story, it will at least bring you a tad bit closer to realizing it. No story can be told the same way twice, your story is and will be your story, others can be similar but never the same. And if you can not find it yet, here is a little story that might help.

This is an old Greek fable about a scholar who went to Socrates.

He travelled the length of the world and learned about all the wisdom available, his name was Cicero and he went to Socrates in an attempt to learn what no one else could teach him.

Once Socrates found this out, he refused to teach Cicero. He begged, pleaded and finally managed to convince Socrates to at least hear his plea.

Walking by the seashore, Cicero was trying to convince Socrates to be his mentor when suddenly the wise Socrates walked chest-deep into the sea.

Cicero walked behind him and stopped. Socrates looked into his eyes and asked Cicero, ‘what do you want?’ To this Cicero replied, ‘I want your wisdom and I want to learn’. Socrates smiled, pushed Cicero inside water and forcefully kept him there for a while.

Once he came out of water and had almost lost his breath, Socrates asked again, ‘what do you want?’ Cicero realized it was a test of some kind and loudly replied, ‘I want your wisdom and I want to learn’ only louder this time.

On hearing this, Socrates pushed him into water again and let him stay there longer. Once Cicero came out of water, he was panting heavily and had almost drowned; Socrates asked again, ‘What do you want?’ Cicero knew that it was a test of some kind and replied in even louder voice, ‘I want your wisdom and I want to learn’. Socrates smiled again and pushed Cicero back into the water.

This time Socrates pushed him hard until Cicero fought his way out, panting and pale, unable to understand Socrates’ behavior. Socrates asked him again, ‘what do you want?’ Cicero arrogantly answered ‘I want to breathe’!

Socrates smiled and said, ‘the day you want to learn as bad as you wanted to breathe, come back to me and I will teach.’

Moral: When you really want to find your story – you will! Until then Keep looking.

– Abhinandan Chatterjee © 2012

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9 thoughts on “Find your own story

  1. I loved your thoughts on storyboarding, creating your own story, character and most of all, the climax. Some questions which came to my mind are: What is my relationship with myself? If my story were to be given a title, what would it be?

    • Thanks- I am glad you liked it.

      While I don’t have answers, I feel the relationship with self is a matter of choice. You can choose to become and remain a story, you and your story will be one but there is no control over it. Or you can choose to be the story teller, in the second case of course, you can decide the title yourself!

  2. Awesome Abhi…..
    Yes, The purpose of Life is finding your own song….which requires digging within !

  3. I love all your inspiring articles, I have been reading this since you started the blog. Its nice to read all your stories and of course the idea behind it, it always motivates me in different ways.
    Thank You!

    • Thank you very much Josephine.

      I’m glad to know that you find the articles motivating. It is the best compliment to any content if it can actually be of assistance to anyone.

      Keep reading:) Thanks.A

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  5. A person without a past is a person without a future. All look back at their past consciously or subconsciously, interpret it in thousand ways every time they look back, or when they plan for future, they add a chapter to their story which they may choose to share or choose to hide from the world, but most certainly all have stories to tell 🙂 Super like!

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